The Sheepdog Mindset — Part 2: Know the Enemy, and Yourself.

Good morning — and welcome to another installment of Mindset Monday!

Last week, I presented a brief introduction to, and overview of, our 5-step process for cultivating The Sheepdog Mindset — our ever-evolving attitude of vigilance, diligence and resilience, oriented specifically for dangerous people and situations.

Today, we’re going to lunge, teeth bared, into the first of those five progressive steps — which is to: Know the enemy, and yourself.

 

“If you know the enemy, and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles.

If you know yourself, but not the enemy, for every victory gained, you will also suffer a defeat.

If you know not the enemy, nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

~ Sun Tsu, The Art of War

 

We all want to believe that the Wolf is someone, or something, distinctly different and separate from ourselves. The reality, however, is that we and the Wolf are more similar than we are different. Human beings — Sheep, Wolf and Sheepdog alike — are all motivated by the same essential needs: Food, shelter, security, sex, belonging, love, wealth, esteem, etc. Most Wolves look, speak and act a lot like us, or someone we know. In fact, it could very well be someone you know — a local teacher, business owner or priest, your mechanic or financial advisor, the cop who plays on your beer league baseball team, or the trust fund baby who occupies the highest political office in our country.

You just… never… know. All things considered, there may be only one significant, fundamental difference between us, and the Wolf:

Our respective orientations. 

Orientation is, essentially, who and what we are. More accurately, it is the story we tell ourselves, about who and what we are, constructed from our own, unique collection of genetic traits, morality, ethics, values, biases, beliefs, cultural inputs and life experiences. It is the lens through which we observe and assess people, objects and events in our surroundings, and the source of all the criteria we use to make all of our decisions in life.

In the context of personal safety and security training, orientation drives mindset. If mindset is the foundation of methodology, orientation is the form we construct around that foundation, to contain it and give it the desired shape. To achieve our goal of correcting our orientation for the Wolf, and developing a solid foundation for effective, tactical decision-making, we must first develop a functional understanding of his orientation.

So, who is the Wolf, and what is his story… ?

 

Know the Enemy.

The Wolf typically begins his life as nothing more, or less, than the reluctant lead character in his own unique origin story. Sadly, more often than not, the Wolf’s story — his unique and specific collection of genetic traits, morality, ethics, values, biases, beliefs, cultural inputs and life experiences — weave themselves into a toxic and traumatic tale over the course of his upbringing.

Extreme poverty, deprivation, neglect, abandonment and/or abuse. Normalization (or even glorification) of criminal values, activities and lifestyle. Direct or indirect exposure to mental illness, substance abuse, domestic and social violence. The combination of these plot twists may change from one story to the next, but the arc of the plot invariably culminates in the emergence of the Wolf, and his adoption of deception, aggression and violence as his default means of communicating, resolving conflict, and getting what he needs and wants.

There is so much we could unpack and discuss in that last paragraph, but this series is intended to be a brief introduction to orientation, not an exhaustive study of the subject, so I’m going to leave it at that for now.

Okay, so now that we know the enemy a little bit better, let’s turn our critical eye inward for a bit…

 

Know Yourself.

Exploring our orientation, or story,  is a very intimate, thought-provoking and emotional process. Just like the Wolf, each of us has a unique and specific collection of genetic traits, morals, ethics, values, biases, beliefs, cultural inputs and life experiences. So, it should come as no surprise that each of us will take a unique and specific path toward orienting ourselves for the Wolf, and his antisocial shenanigans.

With that understanding, I think the best approach to take with this exercise, is to pose a series of questions related to each of the the Wolf’s signature moves — deception, conflict and violence — and leave you to answer them on your own terms, at your own pace, in the privacy of your own head.

Cool… ? Okay, let’s go…

Answer the following questions as honestly and completely as you can, without judging or assigning any significance to your answers:

• Do you ever look at a person or situation, and get the feeling “something just isn’t right”… ? If so, how do you typically respond to that feeling… ? Have you ever been deceived by someone… ? How did you feel about the deception, and the person who deceived you… ? How did you respond… ? Have you ever intentionally deceived someone, to get what you need or want… ? How did that make you feel… ?

 

• Do you avoid confrontation and conflict… ? How do you feel and respond when someone confronts you… ? Would you say your go-to mode of communication is assertiveness, negotiation, confrontation, avoidance or deception… ?

 

• Have you ever witnessed, or been a victim of, violence… ? If so, how did you feel about the experience(s)… ? How did you respond to your feelings around them… ? Have you ever had to use violence to resolve a conflict… ? How did that make you feel… ?

 

Once you have answered all of the questions above, use those answers to develop some insight into how you are oriented right now. Then, when you’re ready, take a moment to compare and contrast your orientation with that of the Wolf, and answer the following question:

Based on your current understanding of the Wolf’s orientation, and your own, which of you do you think is better oriented for deception, conflict and violence… ?

I’m guessing you said “the Wolf” — and you would be correct. By the time he reaches adulthood, the Wolf has more than likely used his go-to communication and conflict resolution tools of deception, aggression and violence hundreds (if not thousands) of times to get what he needs or wants.

The Wolf is a professional predator, and the vast majority of us are not, so when it comes to deceiving, fighting and killing, the Wolf has a distinct advantage — but that doesn’t mean we can’t learn to use the Wolf’s orientation against him, and avoid, evade and/or escape from him.

I’ve heard or read lots of stories about women feigning fear, helplessness and surrender when confronted by the Wolf, only to turn the tables and escape when he let down his guard. I’ve also heard of men who feign a panic attack, seizure or cardiac arrest, cry like a wee baby, act certifiably insane, or intentionally piss or shit themselves to interrupt a potential assailant’s decision-making process, and cause him to abort his attack. Others have used speed,  surprise and violence of action to not only survive, but beat the Wolf at his own game.

Pretty freakin badass, right… ? I’m just sayin, a thousand years ago, these folks would have made pretty decent ninja.

These success stories have nothing at all to do with the survivor’s physical strength, or their kick-ass combat skills; it was their mindset — contained and shaped by their orientation for the Wolf’s intentions, behaviours and tactics — that saved them.

Pretty heavy stuff, eh… ? Yeah… it is — and we’ve really only just begun this journey. Anyway, you should now have enough information to at least begin to understand the Wolf’s orientation, and your own, and the important role orientation plays in containing and shaping our mindset, as it pertains to personal safety and security.

I hope you will join us next Monday, in part-3 of this series, where you will continue to correct, inform and refine your orientation, by defining your mission, and establishing your moral and ethical mission parameters.

Until then, take good care — and prepare to prevail!