The Sheepdog Mindset — Part 4: Establish Your Mission Parameters.

Welcome back to the Sheepdog Survival Blog, and part-4 in our series on The sheepdog Mindset.

Last week, we established that if your mindset is the foundation of your personal safety and security methodology, then your mission should be thought of as an artist’s conception, or 3D model, of the structure you intend to construct upon that solid, purpose-built foundation.

This week, we will begin to flesh out your mission with some mission parameters, which are analogous to a set of technical drawings and specification sheets, outlining precisely how you intend to construct your personal safety and security methodology, so that the finished project turns out exactly like the 3D model you envision in your head.

 

“If you don’t stand for something, you will fall for anything.”

~ Peter Marshall

 

Mission parameters are the moral and ethical boundaries you set for yourself, to aid you in self-regulating your psychological stress responses, and remaining mission-focused under extreme duress. They also help you suppress any potentially impulses you may have in the heat of battle, that may cause witnesses and authorities to view you as the villain in your own survival story.

These parameters flow from your orientation, and must be carefully crafted and articulated, so as to further define and crystalize your mission, and make it an integral aspect of your Sheepdog Mindset.

In setting your mission parameters, you will need to do some serious introspection, and answer a few very personal and important questions — a couple of which you began to answer last week, in an effort to identify your tribe:

 

For whom, or what, are you willing to risk serious injury or death… ?

In determining for whom, or what, you would risk it all, you coincidentally identify everyone and everything you feel isn’t worth the ultimate sacrifice. Making this simple but important distinction will aid you in immediately putting all of the minor annoyances, frustrating interactions and events, and outright painful assaults on your ego into crystal-clear perspective.

Some douchebag cuts you off in traffic: Stay in your lane — and, for the love of Dog, stay in your vehicle! You are safe, your flock is safe and secure, and nothing you say or do right now will make that douchebag any less douchey.

An ignorant a-hole butts into line in front of you, and ignores your polite protest: Just let him go ahead. Is an extra minute or two in line at the PharmaSave worth potentially getting into a fist-fight, or worse… ? He may be testing your patience, but if he isn’t threatening your safety and security, just… let… him… go.

A drunk guy makes a lewd comment to your lady outside a club: Keep on walkin’, Tex. She’ll be fine. Nothing good has ever come of challenging a drunk stranger (and his drunk buddies) on a sidewalk, in front of a few dozen unknown bystanders.

You see a big, obnoxious dude pushing around a smaller, more passive dude: Not your monkeys; not your circus.  I’m sure the smaller dude would appreciate the assist, but if he isn’t a card-carrying member of your flock, stand down, my friend. Well-intentioned heroics have put a lot of good people in the ground.

If you are not a private security professional or sworn peace officer, you have no right, reason or responsibility to risk your health or life to protect anyone outside of your flock, bring violent offenders to justice, or show ignorant douchebags the error of their ways. Sure, you can wander outside of your mission parameters, but you have to know what you, and your flock, stand to lose if you do.

 

For whom, or what, are you willing to spend 10-15 years in prison… ?

What if you were successful in gaining the upper hand on your would-be assailant, and — in a moment of weakness, righteous indignation, and/or rage — crossed the line from self-defence, to assault, resulting in said assailant being seriously injured or killed… ? While it may have satisfied some primal need in that moment, you will now face criminal and/or civil charges, and a long period of incarceration.

As a federal correctional officer of over 22 years, I can tell you with all sincerity that I would rather die than endure a long prison sentence — even in the relatively civilized prisons we have here in Canada. Prison is the Wolf’s home away from home, but to me, and most other sane, family-focused folks, with hopes and dreams for the future, prison life would be a living death.

Imagine being isolated from your loved ones, except for occasional visits at the prison, where you see only snapshots of your children growing up. Who is caring for and protecting your family while you are inside… ? Who’s teaching your son how to navigate the perils of schoolyard politics, puberty and dating… ? Who is teaching your kids how to think critically, solve problems creatively, drive a car, and interview for a job… ? Who’s walking your daughter down the isle on her wedding day… ? It sure as hell ain’t you, bub.

Your spouse, despite his/her love and affection for you, will almost certainly move on. That, or you will bear witness his/her slow, agonizing struggle with everything you’ve left him/her to deal with on the outside, in your absence. Either outcome will eat away at your mental and physical health over time, and leave you the empty, withered husk of some guy who lost his mission-focus for a few seconds.

 

What are you willing to do, to accomplish your mission… ?

I have asked every woman I’ve ever trained what they are willing to do to save their own life. Specifically, I ask them if they would — or could — kill their assailant to save their own life. Most cringe at the thought. Many immediately deny that they have it in them to kill another human being.

Then, I ask the moms in the room what they would do to save their child’s life — and the response is quite different. Many good, decent ladies who, just a moment ago, couldn’t even contemplate killing their assailant to save their own life, are now describing, in vivid and disturbing detail, how they would kill him, if he even gave their spawn a sideways glance!

Why the sudden shift in orientation… ? Are our children’s lives more valuable than our own… ? I’m not disagreeing with this statement, in principle, but wait — who is going to care for and protect our child(ren) if we are incapacitated or killed… ? Who will promote their health and happiness, ensure their safety and security, and set them on the path to a long, peaceful and prosperous life… ?

I’m not here to tell you what, and what not, to do in a life-or-death situation, but I will say this: I am willing to take the life of a violent assailant, to save my own life, or the lives of my loved ones — but only if it is absolutely necessary to accomplish my mission.

The final question I would like you to consider is this:

 

What do you think your chances are, of getting through a violent encounter unscathed… ? 

If you manage to survive a violent encounter with a professional predator, you will likely be injured, and your reward for surviving The Fight, is to face the unpleasant reality that this was only the first of several battles to be won. You may have to recover from a psychological or physical injury, endure the scrutiny of the police, defend your actions in court, suffer financial hardship due to legal costs and/or lost wages, and manage changes in your intimate, personal, professional and public relationships, due to stigmatization.

* We’re going to go deep on this last question in the sixth and final installment of this series. Stay tuned. *

It has been my experience that no one goes into a violent encounter without taking serious risks, and no one comes out of a violent encounter entirely whole. Everyone loses something. Some lose everything.

 

I hope this exercise has led you to some important insights. If so, use your newfound clarity to craft a handful of mission parameters. Your moral and ethical lines in the sand. The technical drawings and spec sheets you will use to build out your personal safety and security methodology. Memorize and internalize them, so they will keep you mission-focused on the worst day of your life.

Next week, we’re going to round out this boundary-setting soiree with a quick and dirty exploration of the legal rules of engagement — specifically, Section 34 of the Criminal Code of Canada — and some frank discussion around how self-defence law has been interpreted and applied in past cases.

Until next week, take good care — and prepare to prevail!